It’s been a long time I updated my blog, in fact – a couple of years. I decided to step away from painting for a while, so step away from the routine I built around being a painter including social media and updates. I really needed a change because something wasn’t working. I needed to change something in my art career.
I love painting, but it wasn’t “going anywhere”. It felt like I worked extremely hard to get to where I am and I am very proud of that, but the drive I had to do this in the first place wasn’t because I wanted to settle as a commission artist nor landscape painter. Of course, I envisioned something much bigger (which didn’t necessarily involve galleries or big money, the typical ego stuff), yet whatever it was – this wasn’t it. Social media was somehow at its peak garbage state too, where it was really not showing my work to anyone despite me having fairly well calibrated accounts. It was demanding too much. The grind wasn’t feeling worth it anymore. I was burnt out, very depressed, and lonely from working alone.
I wanted to persue something new that felt like an exciting dream I abandoned for so many reasons: it’s a seemingly dirty job that’s very much frowned upon in my culture, it’s sketchy, “go to school” and get a prestigeous career is more important, and most of all – I thought I couldn’t do it. I thought I’m not a people person and my hands are too shaky. Well it turns out the shaky hands don’t matter because it’s all about technique and I can build strength, and I’m just enough a people person to take on enough clients…
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I am now a professional tattoo artist having completed an intense apprenticeship with my own practice! I am certified to work with proper sanitation techniques, this month I’m getting First Aid certification, and some of my future goals include expanding my practice to include laser removal and/or paramedical tattooing.
The fact my training was so intense and focused meant I had to put everything else down. I’m lucky I can do that. Trying to upkeep everything while training was impossible. I treated it as a full-time job with overtime until I reached a point I can work without supervision, then I could slowly bring life back into the picture. My arms and back were throbbing in pain and I had constant headaches from pushing myself so hard.
Surprise Support
I appreciate the outpouring of support I received right out of the gate when I told anyone close to me! It was a surprise and great validation I wasn’t about to waste years on something that’s going to be another hobby. Everyone says this is something that fits who I am, that is something they see me doing, which is great. Artistically, it feels more “me” because there’s a limit of self-expression I can do with fine art meanwhile making money to support myself, or at least I always felt that way and I hope to prove myself wrong in the future. It also feels more “me” in that I make very personal art, so to help another person express themselves in such an intimate way feels right. It feels like a center point for my practice I’ve been trying to find.
Likewise, I was shocked at the outpouring of support from my local community. I don’t have a lot of people around I could do my first practice tattoos on. To be quite honest, I respect my friends too much to give them possibly my “worst work”; I don’t see it that way, but you know what I mean! I will forever see the imperfections in my first tattoos. So to have total strangers from the Verdun community come to my sketchy address and offer their skin touched me in a way very few things ever have. If anything, it taught me to trust people more if people trust me like this. It was an exercise in trust too seeing who shows up, and another surprise was it’s all very normal, average people. I did not get mugged.
Will I stop painting?
No, of course not. I love painting, but I really gave the universe the fair chance to support me in that career journey and it hasn’t. As a chronically ill, disabled person, I can’t do the “work full-time and do art on the side” gig and it’s self-sabotage for me to work low-pay jobs that are hard on my body for the privledge of making art. The other ways many artists survive didn’t materialize either: thriving merch store, patrons, or art grant cycles. So, I had to find a new creative way to work and continue to paint in the breathes in between.
Most likely, you will see a section added to this website called tattoos & it will either link to a new page or a new website. I’m not sure what the best solution is yet. I currently take messages through email and the new tattoo instagram and bookings through apps.
